Thursday, April 01, 2010

NASA: New Jobs Creation Initiative Announced

Posted By CotoBlogzz April Fool's Day 20101

Vice President Joe Bidden has unveiled a new jobs creation three-phase initiative intended to reverse the fleeing of high paying jobs to India, Pakistan, China and Russia, for instance. The first phase, takes under-employed NASA’s elite rocket scientists and re-directs them away from any future space programs to immediate auto issues, such as solving the Toyota debacle. Ground has already been broken to construct a state of the art call center staffed with current NASA rocket scientist s who immediately after solving the Toyota problem, expected any minute now, would be available to solve any automotive problem in the world. The new group will be known as the New NASA: National Automobile Support Administration.

Already China, India and Russia have levied unfair-trade practices and are threatening to take the matter to the World Trade Organization claiming that the New NASA is simply a US government subsidized call center.

When asked about the charges of isolationism, VP Biden responded, “this is a freaking good deal, as the initiatives will create some 2 billion jobs in just twelve months of operation”.

The second phase is already in the works and is called RSRUS (“Rocket Scientists R-Us) – the idea is to make scientist available to any nation wishing to protect the environment by going nuclear – that is, use nuclear energy for peaceful purposes only. High level sources tell us that Mahmmud Amadinajed has already signed on as the first customer, signing a letter stating that Iran will only use nuclear energy for peaceful purposes, that is wishes to start a new era of cooperation with Iran, and signed it simply as “M/WWW” – some have suggested that the /WWW stands for “averting a third world war”, critics claim is simply stands for “wink, wink, wink”

Assuming that the First and Second phase are successful, the Third Phase will allocate NASA project management specialists to a special call center who can troubleshoot financial projections. Targeted clients are bailout firms, such as AIG, GM. High-level sources tell us that the first client to have expressed an interest is the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) who cited a CBO representative as saying “If we can score the ObamaCare package, and Joe the Taxpayer buys it, can you imagine what we can do with rocket scientists?”

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