Friday, April 14, 2006

Breaking News: WMP Found during CZ BOD Meeting!

FEMA , the Sheriff’s Office and UC System to help solve Coto’s Problems!

Various weapons of mass persuasion were found during the Coto de Caza Board of Director meeting held last night in the Coto Golf Club:

First, In Mezger-speak, (fallacious reasoning explosives - FRE), the argument was presented that Coto residents need to increase the number of calls to the Sheriff so that the Sheriff’s office will then realize they need to increase their budget, so they can allocate more resources to service Coto. The board reasoned that since the percentage of calls to the Sheriff coming in from Coto were the lowest of the communities around, then it follows that Coto must be the safest one! Of course this line of reasoning is not only irrational but the facts to not support it: According to data (obtained from various sources, including the FBI), CNN/Money had Coto listed at the community with the highest crime rate than any other neighboring gated or un-gated community. To be sure we have the facts at all time, the management tool for Coto de Caza we commissioned is now ready as shown below – consistent with the CHP report, a significant number of perpetrators are not kids! We as adults are setting the example – sort of like the Freaks we write about!

Of course it also follows that by residents calling the Sheriff instead of the private security company, that would free them up to deal with Keystone’s List of Prominent Coto Residents much better – Coto’s $2,000,000.00 security budget at work!

We are working to obtain similar tools for other neighboring communities such as RSM, Ladera Ranch, Lake Forest, etc.

In other FRE instances presented during the board meeting: it was suggested by certain board candidate that FEMA come to the aid of Coto residents, as well as the UC System, given that the safety problems are beyond the cognitive skills of the community. Perhaps it could get started building a website.

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