Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Bill Kirkendale…..The Real Estate Curmudgeon…



What is a Real Estate Curmudgeon?
A Real Estate Curmudgeon is a no nonsense real estate professional who won’t take no for an answer in setting the true price value of your home  and will leave no stone unturned to sell your house at the highest price possible as quickly as possible…You don’t ever want to settle for mediocrity when selling your home. Call The Curmudgeon Bill Kirkendale today @ 949-981-5400
Outside of the real estate business a Curmudgeon is a person who has a reputation as being a no nonsense fighter for fairness, justice and good old ordinary common sense. Over the past five years or so the real estate market in Orange County has been rocked by scandal and total manipulation of home prices. Your home hasn’t lost its value. It’s your faith and trust in the government and the banking industry that has lost its value. You didn’t cause the uncalled for drop in home prices. These were the people who caused your home prices to drop.
The Wily Curmudgeon at your service…What is needed now is for a wily curmudgeon like me to restore our beautiful Orange county to its former prestige and stature. This is absolutely the most wonderful place to live and we should all be proud that we live here. Over the next five years I am going to personally, as your real estate curmudgeon agent, try very hard to restore Orange County and your home values to the place they once were……and in the process restore all our home values to what they should be…. Which should reflect the true value of best place in the whole world to live.
How am I different from the average real estate agent in Orange County? I am different mainly because of my attitude and curmudgeon like fighting spirit to restore us to the place we were five years ago. I don’t settle for incompetence and poor  excuses that Banks and Mortgage companies give us for their low value appraisals of our property. I know what my property is worth. They have no idea what my property is worth. The go by short sales. I go by real value sales. They perpetuate low prices. I perpetuate high prices. The time has come to change all the ridiculous rules and attitudes our banks and mortgage companies have to saddle us with low real estate prices…..and I know exactly how to do it.
Purposeful manipulation and devaluation of Orange County home prices.
Here’s an example of what is happening to us. Your neighbor down the street has lost his house to either an unfortunate foreclosure or forced short sale. His price for the same house as yours was 20% lower than the normal appraised value of your home. That means if your house were appraised properly at say $500,000 your friendly bank or mortgage company would try to tell you your house was now only worth $400,000. Why? It is because of this so-called “comparable” distressed sale that they claim should be priced on the market for $100,000 less. Than its true value…ABSOLUTE NONSENSE…
Your home hasn’t lost a penny in value. It’s the same house you owned a year ago that was valued at its true value of $500,000. So what happened to bring your house value down $100,000? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING…. but a bunch of greedy manipulating banks and mortgage companies who want to try and cheat you out of $100,000. As the only real estate curmudgeon around these days I won’t allow your house to lose $100,000 in value. I will fight to the death to sell your house for what it’s worth….$500,000 or better….and I won’t take no for an answer to anyone who tries to tell me differently.
So give this old curmudgeon a call.  I’ve been in the real estate business for over 50 years and I know exactly how to do this without you losing a penny or not being able to sell your home in a timely manner. The only way to do this is to have a Real Estate Curmudgeon like me in your corner…
To show your how curmudgeonly I can be you need to read the best-selling book I just wrote about the mortgage crises and the fallout from the great FICO credit score hoax we all experienced. I’ll be glad to give you an autographed copy.
Look forward to working with you.

1 comment:

rumi islam eva said...

These are terrific, and so wonderfully show the Belgian style of understatement, with a refinement and an earthiness that intertwines Man and Nature.
I love it; regard for things of design and beauty, in clean, simple orderliness, with spirit.
real estate